Goodbye, Daddy
by g3nesis1
Summary: She was scared. For the first time, in such a long time, she was actually scared. She groaned. She knew what today was, but she did not want to get up. She did not want to face it, because then it would mean it was true. Because then it would mean that it


She was scared. For the first time, in such a long time, she was actually scared. She groaned. She knew what today was, but she did not want to get up. She did not want to face it, because then it would mean it was true. Because then it would mean that it was a reality – her father was dead.

She pulled herself up and placed her feet on the carpet floor. She looked into the mirror across from her bed and sighed. She looked into her own eyes, wondering if anyone else could see what she saw. She was only a child, how was she supposed to run her own organization? What was she going to do? She closed her eyes. She had no choice, whether she wanted to or not.

What did they see? Did they see the dark circles underneath her eyes because of lack of sleep? Did they see her fingers shaking? Did they hear her shivering breaths?

She pulled herself out from the warm comforts of her blankets and quickly got dressed. Black – today was definitely a grim day. She walked towards the mirror again, and placed the glasses on the bridge of her nose. She smoothed the skirt on her leg and straightened the cross that hung around her neck. Everything was going to change now and that meant that she—.

"Integra." Walter spoke, knocking on her door softly. "Are you ready?"

She turned, but didn't answer for a moment. "Yes." She finally said.

She walked towards the door. It all seemed surreal. Her normal routine used to be racing towards her father's office to learn the things she would need to know when she got older, when she was _supposed_ to run the organization. She would see her father in his big leather chair giving her a smile as she walked in fashionably late. She would apologize every time, though sometimes she wondered if he knew she was doing it on purpose; just to follow routine. Now, it was different.

She could go to his office, and he wouldn't be there. It would be her office, now. She would now have to teach herself, or learn from others like Walter. She would have to sit in the big leather chair and do the tons of paperwork, day after day, dealing with the immoral acts of the vampires of their country. Everything was placed on her shoulders, and she had no one she could run to for help or advice.

She closed her bedroom door behind her and gave another weak smile to Walter. Walter was dressed nice. He was wearing a black suit with his hair pulled back into a tight and crisp ponytail. "I'm ready," she lied. No, she wasn't. Not in the least.

As she walked, she wondered if Alucard was going to come as well. She was sure he hated her father, but he was his servant. Didn't that account for something? Didn't he have to come?

She descended the stairs being met by Captain Ferguson at the landing. "Ms. Integra," he bowed his head. She was not sure why, though. "I'm very sorry for your loss, but-. " She looked over to Walter, unsure of what to do or say.

He frowned and nodded to him. "Whatever you need to do, Captain, do it."

The Captain nodded and briskly walked off. _I guess he's not going now_, she thought. The problems with the vampires were getting worse, and she was not sure if she could handle it, but she would try her best. She was not going to give up. She'd fight, for her father.

_Master_, his voice made shivers rip through her spine. She turned as he appeared out of nothing, also in a crisp black suit. _You are a Hellsing. You will be fine._  


She stared at him for a moment. Was he only saying that because he had to? In addition, how dare he go into her mind, listening to her thoughts without her permission? She frowned. She hoped he had not bounced through her mind the night before. "Don't call me that," she ordered firmly. "Call me, Integra."

Alucard closed his eyes and nodded. "Yes," he paused and looked up with a wicked grin. "Integra."

She turned away as Walter led them both out into the limousine that was waiting for them. She looked up to the sky, which was dark with clouds. She gave a smile, remembering when she was younger. She used to think when it rained, or thundered, that God was crying. Her father chuckled and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her forehead. _Sometimes, its tears of joy_, he whispered to her. She blinked. Not today.

She stepped into the limousine and stared out from the window, thinking about the past, and a lot about the future. What was she going to do? What if she messed up, and screwed everything over? She placed her hands in her lap, holding them tightly together trying not to diddle thumbs.

As they reached the church, her heart froze in her chest, her breath was a ghost. She walked in, and everyone turned to stare at her like there was something wrong with her. Yes, her father passed, and yes, it was going to be hard, but do not look at her like that! She was not a freak of nature… She hoped.

She sat quietly. She could hear the whispers rummaging and dancing through the air of the echoing church. _I heard this, but I heard that_. She did not care. She was here for her father and to say good-bye even though her heart was breaking as she thought of it.

Alucard sat beside her and smiled down to her. She was sure some of the rumors were fluttering about because of him as well, but again, she didn't care. She would not care, either. Ever. He saved her, and she knew he was going to save her down the road as well. He was her only protection now, other than her training.

Minutes passed, and the Minister started to speak. There was a welling pit of anger inside of her as she looked around to the many faces. They did not know him, at least not like she did. They never saw him smile; really smile. They never saw him laugh outrageously loud. She missed that smile. She missed that laugh, already. The image of him lying on the bed, coughing up blood in his cold, shivering hands was burned into her retina forever. She did not want to remember him that way, but she could not help it. She would always cherish those times though… Always. Moreover, she hoped she would not be a disappointment to him, to her country and Queen.

It was time, she thought. Time to say good-bye. She watched as the others walked up, spoke, or bowed their heads in respect, and went on their merry-little ways. She sighed. She stood and walked over silently, Alucard and Walter not too far behind her. She stepped up, the black and chrome coffin like a shining star in the middle of the dimly lit church.

Her skin lurched. She did not want to see him like this, though she had seen the worst of his illness. She closed her eyes as she stepped forward and laid her hands on the coffin. She fought back the tears, swallowing her urges to scream and shake him to wake him up. _No,_ she told herself._ I have to face it. Open your eyes. Goddamn it open your eyes!_ She opened her eyes and stared down at him. His face was pale and pasty. She reached down to caress his face. It was cold, unmoving. Her hands reached out for his and she tightened her eyes shut. Why did this have to happen? Why? What had 

her family ever done to deserve any of this? They were doing what had to be done to save the human race, to keep this country from being overrun by vampires, and to protect the Queen. What had they done wrong?

Her heart pounded loud, aching in her chest. She squeezed her father's hand tightly, silently screaming at him to wake up. She opened her eyes, her head suddenly floating in air.

Alucard rushed up to catch her as her knees gave way. She couldn't breathe. Everyone was too close, everything that was happening was all too wrong, and she didn't know why. _Get away! Wake up! WAKE UP!_

"Integra," Alucard placed his hand on her cheek, patting it gently for her to open her eyes. "Integra," he repeated. He laid her on the floor. She needed to breathe. _Humans_, he thought, _so overly dramatic._ Nevertheless, he was not sure about this one. She was a child, and her father had passed away. She felt alone. She was scared.

His fingers ran through her silky blonde hair. "Integra," he repeated again.

She slowly opened her eyes, and like sleeping beauty, she did not know what had happened. She blinked. "Alucard?" Her voice was raspy and weak.

Alucard looked up to Walter and pulled her up into his arms, allowing her to wrap her arms around his neck. "You'll be alright." He whispered to her as they walked outside. "I'll take care of you."

She smothered herself into his neck and shoulders and finally allowed herself to cry. She cried harder than she thought she should, but it was a good thing. She needed to let it out, and let it turn. She was afraid, but she was thankful he had left people, good people, to take care of her… and to help her. She just hoped she would be the daughter he always wanted, and to live up to his expectations. _Never give up_, he always told her. _You have to fight, but you will get through it._ She wiped some of the tears from her cheeks and pulled her arms tighter around Alucard's neck.

_Goodbye, daddy._


End file.
